BEST WEDDING EVER! SERIES: UNPLUGGED WEDDINGS
You’re groaning, I hear it. Again?? I know everyone and their mother has an opinion on unplugged weddings, and basically it’s already been said a thousand times but I wanted to weigh in on this topic. And really from a reasoning that has VERY little to do with photography.
I can’t remember the last time I was at a wedding that there weren’t people with phones or ipads boldly taking photos. Or standing, crouching, or sitting in the aisle. While occasionally this annoys me from a job standpoint because it can make my job harder, it makes me really sad for these couples. Instead of walking down the aisle to all their friends and family’s joyful faces they see phones. They see people looking at screens instead of looking into their faces. Digital screens and faceless guests staring at them while they have this life altering moment. They’re walking down the aisle to the love of her life, and sometimes they can’t even see that face. That kills me. When one of them doesn’t get to see a reaction because guests are in the way.
Not everyone gets invited to a couple’s wedding day. If they invited everyone they had ever met, there would be thousands of people. It’s an honor to invited to someone’s wedding. When they walk down the aisle after their ceremony they are feeling elated. Elated that they just tied their life to someone, and to have all of these people they love there to celebrate, and share it with. They want to see your smiling faces. If you are filming or photographing during that time, you are robbing the bride and groom of that. You might be “watching” the wedding happen through your phone’s screen. But you are not being fully present. There are moments you are missing, and you’ll never know what beautiful little piece of the story you aren’t seeing.
Obviously, I go to a lot of weddings. One thing that I am able to witness over and over, is how different and similar wedding ceremonies are. Every wedding has the same goal and ending. Two people, getting married. But the wedding ceremonies are the way that couple is choosing to present their love story to the world. Some of them are funny, some are serious, some are short and sweet, some have lots of anecdotes.
Every single wedding ceremony I’m at, whether it’s one of my couples’ or for a couple where I’m second shooting, I take a few moments to appreciate the moment. I have to be focused during the big ones like the kiss, ring exchange, etc but when I get to hear their friend’s speak or the officiant tell how the couple met I often have the opportunity to really listen and enjoy. A couple’s wedding ceremony should be exciting and interesting, and you should want to be fully listening and watching or else, why are you there?
Most couples these days have a sign or an announcement for unplugged weddings. But even though I see and hear these requests from the HOSTS of the party you are attending, it’s RARELY heeded completely. Unless the couple has specifically said “hey I know I just paid $5000 for this guy but he seems super shady- take lots of photos on that iPhone” you are also being kind of rude. I’m sure it’s unintentional, but you are. Do you not trust their judgement in who they chose? Remember that episode of friends where Monica’s mom hires her to cater her party but has a lasagna in the freezer in case she pulls a Monica? Sorry to break it to you, but you’re Monica’s mom in this scenario. Actually, it might be worse. You’re a guest at that party and brought the lasagna. Yikes.
I completely understand the desire to document life events. I kind of built a life around it. However, couples hire professional photographers and videographers to do that so you can enjoy and be a part of their wedding. I’m not saying don’t take photos at all, but save that for the reception. The ceremony is the reason you are there. The important part they want you to pay attention to. To listen to them say the most meaningful words to each other and pledge their lives to one another. It’s kind of a BIG deal. The fact that they want you there is amazing, and special.
Most wedding professionals know what they are doing, and will get great photos of you enjoying the day. I bet if you ask the couple a few months after the wedding, they would love to share their photos with you. Let’s be honest, are you actually going to print those phone snaps? Most likely not. Think of all the extra free space for photos of puppies and desserts from date night you now have!
If the bride and groom are having an unplugged ceremony.. please respect their wishes. I personally have had brides apologize to me because they saw family members not listening. Was I mad at the couple that it happened? No. I was mad FOR the couple that guests couldn’t follow directions for a few minutes. I was upset that they felt guilty enough to apologize to me on their special day. The wedding day is the bride and groom’s day. It should be whatever THEY want it to be. Whether it be they want everyone to dress in purple and wear funny hats, or not bring phones. Go, listen and be present. UNPLUG. Be happy and joyful. I might even catch a photo of you doing just that, and the bride and groom will probably send it to you 😉
